School, Part 1

Monday, October 3rd was an ordinary school day for the students of Literacy High School. Everyone knew that tomorrow was the big match against their rivals at Illiteracy, but the teachers were competent enough to keep most of the problem students focused and on task. Most. Not all. Please join me for the school day of Simile and Metaphor as they try and navigate the pointless hallways of public education.

OoO

"Please stand for the Pledge of Allegiance" 

Simile: *stands* This is as stupid as walking my dog. I mean, seriously.


Metaphor: Sim! Respect for one's country should be valued beyond all else.

Simile: *blinks* I can't be leave I get stuck with you in every class. You're even my lab partner! It's like pulling my brains out though my ears!

Metaphor: Shh!

"I pledge allegiance to the flag, of the United States of America. And to the Republic, for which it stands, one Nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." You may be seated.

Metaphor: And you think this is easy for me? Not at all. We are different, Sim, but we must attempt to be-- *thinking*

Simile: *smirks* Yes?

Metaphor: A well earned silence is worth a thousand words.

Simile: I hate the thousand words one. It's as over used as a kid in a candy store.

Metaphor: And I need only five words to compare you to a platypus.

Simile: *eyeroll* Someone give the kid a medal, he's as smart as Newton.

Metaphor: You probably think Schrodinger is the actual name of the cat.

Simile: ...What?

Metaphor: Einstein. *end sarcasm*

Bell! Proceed to your first period class.

Simile: Which day is it today?


Metaphor: A, Sim. A. It's the first day of the week.

Alliteration: Salutations Simile! Mornin' Metaphor.

Metaphor: Someday soon, you'll figure out a different greeting, or you'll end up burning on a sidewalk. So. So alone.

Alliteration: *chants* Meanie Mr. Metaphor. Meanie Mr. Metaphor!

Simile: If it's A... That means our first class is English, right? Good. At least we don't have the worst subject since the elimination of logic until third period today.

Everyone, everywhere: *stops* *stares*

Simile: What?

Alliteration: 'mile... misused... metaphor... *shock*

Simile: Uhoh. >.>

Metaphor: Guy. It's not that big of a deal. Sure she's annoying, and sharing with her pretty much equals sharing with a five year old, but Sim can use a metaphor if she needs.

Simile: I'm going to go eat a worm now. Siiiighs.

Alliteration: Egah! English, 'E. Elope to English!

Simile: And the English language was used like a blunt club on the heads of idiots.

Alliteration: What?

Metaphor: *snickers*

In English:

Allegory: *hands up*

Mrs. Poet: Yes, Allegory?

Allegory: Couldn't these books be seen as an allegory for Christ's sacrifice on the cross, his resurrection, and everything?

Mrs. Poet: Allie, I can't--

Metaphor: *whispers* And the public school system writhed in the agony of chaos.

Simile: *snicker*

Mrs. Poet: *rambles on about pointless, meaningless stuff for the next fifteen minutes*

Allegory: *smirks*

Alliteration: *yawns*

Foil: *huffs*

Mrs. Poet: Foil? You have something to share with the class?

Foil: No. *shrugs* I hate school.

Alliteration: Hate 'heducation! Horrible!

Metaphor: *grumbles* Fingernails on chalk board.

Simile: *nods*

Foil: I mean, we could be outside, learning about rocks, or actually reading a book instead of having it force-feed down our throats. Seriously Mrs. Poet, can't we actually learn something for once in our lives?

Satire: Preach it, brother!

Class and Teacher: Satire! You aren't allowed to talk.

Satire: Geez...

Foil: *grins*

Mrs. Poet: *launches another thirty minute lecture on the value of learning English the way the school teaches it*

Class: *siiiiiiigh*

-forty-five minutes later

Bell! Please proceed to your second period class.